Hey Target CEO Brian Cornell, we're going to need bigger t-shirts.
How a single shirt could change the conversation
“Not a phase,” read the teal-colored t-shirt in swirly letters on the front. At least I’m pretty sure that’s what it said. It was hard to read because the image in the search results was tiny. When I clicked on it to view more, I was taken to a page that said “product not available.”
The “not a phase” t-shirt was one of several items removed from the shelves recently at various Target stores. What the pulled items had in common was their show of support for the LGBTQ+ community.
While Target hasn’t specified which items it pulled, spotlighted products have included “tuck-friendly” swimsuits (which were falsely called out as being available in children’s sizes) as well as a children’s book on pronouns.
From many on the left, the response to Target’s decision to pull the merchandise—one made out of concern for the employees’ safety—was derision. This reaction makes sense if the protest is seen as yet another tactic by conservatives to block liberal social change and inclusion.
And, to be fair, it might be just that. It might be part of a broader conservative strategic plan to make sure every town in America looks like something out of the Stepford Wives—where the women are feminine and coiffed and the men wear suits and are clean cut. And, if that’s the case, I’ll be among the first to say not on my watch.
But, perhaps unsurprisingly, there’s reason to believe it isn’t that straightforward. In our national conversation on trans issues, we are blurring together challenges that, while related, need to be considered separately.
One is how trans people are treated. It should go without saying that they deserve the same dignity and respect as everyone else. That comes, at least in part, from a basic principle that all human beings have equal moral worth. And, in our civilized, democratic society, this is an idea to which we have committed ourselves.
Then there’s a separate set of questions about how gender and psychology relate to one another more generally. And how we understand that connection muddies the way we might think about people who objected to the merchandise. For simplicity’s sake, let’s focus just on the t-shirt for the moment.
Let’s assume that, when it comes to trans issues, there are three groups of people. The first group—let’s call them gender affirmers—consists of people who believe that every child (and adult) who presents as gender dysphoric should be treated as such. In this line of thinking, a patient’s need to transition socially or medically is not to be questioned. In fact, questioning it is often seen as dismissive of the person’s needs in a way that can have serious psychological costs, including depression or even suicide. This is captured in the statement that it's “better to have a living daughter than a dead son.” And to be sure, it’s a powerful sentiment. When framed this way, most parents would, of course, choose the living daughter.
The second group—let’s call them haters— is made up of folks who think transgender people are aberrations that should be exiled and shamed from mainstream and polite society. Perhaps they dismiss gender dysphoria as a “woke” construct that doesn’t really exist. These are folks who, at a minimum, have abdicated the principle of equal moral worth I described earlier.
Then there’s a third group—let’s call them the unsures. They don’t fit with the gender affirmers. They aren’t willing to take as given the claims that members of this group do. But they also don’t fit with the haters. They don’t think trans people are aberrant. And they believe they should be treated with dignity and respect.
Let me back up. With the gender affirmers, the core assumption has thus far gone unchallenged. It was that every child that presents as gender dysphoric should be treated as such. But, as with any assumption, it could be wrong.
Consider a world where other mental health challenges can manifest as gender dysphoria. In this world, failing to question the symptoms could lead to a serious misdiagnosis. The same would be true in a world where peer effects play a role in shaping claims of the same. We don’t have to know for sure if we’re in either or both of those worlds to be unwilling to conclude that we’re not.
Failing to make a distinction between haters and unsures has led to the assumption that any objection to what is seen as LGBTQ+ support is part of a hateful Republican effort to treat trans people as less than. However, as we’ve described, only one of the two groups that isn’t on board with the gender affirmers is, in actuality, ignoring that core principle of equal moral worth.
As I’ve written elsewhere, certainty keeps us from distinguishing between the two groups. In this case, that means certainty about others’ intent and certainty about aspects of mental health that simply aren’t as clear as we might like them to be.
It would be totally fair to point out here that throwing tantrums in Target stores is not a reasonable way to express concern about the kinds of questions I’ve raised. And, what’s more, someone could argue, such a response shows that they are, in fact, what I’ve called haters.
At the same time, the response is broadly consistent with what we might expect when there’s been a failure to acknowledge the existence of that third group I described. In other words, if the left is going to insist that there’s no distinction between the haters and the unsures—and treat members of both as bigots—then can we really be surprised when some otherwise reasonable people give up on trying to correct the record? Maybe these aren’t the people throwing tantrums but, rest assured, they’re in the mix somewhere.
The upshot is that we all need the uncertainty that underpins the unsures to be acknowledged. Maybe Target should give the unsures their own line of clothing. I can imagine colorful t-shirts that say “This might or might not be a phase. It could be permanent, or I might grow out of it. But, either way, I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.” That’s a lot of words. Hey, Brian Cornell, Target’s going to need bigger t-shirts.
Please note that much of the writing on this Substack is either derived from or is related to the manuscript, The Certainty Trap (unpublished). For inquiries about the manuscript, please reach out to me directly.
Hey Target CEO Brian Cornell, we're going to need bigger t-shirts.
Perhaps I missing something. In my mind, gender affirming simply means treating transgender and non-binary individuals with respect (by using their preferred pronouns as one example). It doesn’t matter if I have thoughts about whether or not it is permanent or a phase. In fact gender affirming physicians and counselors explore and ask questions about gender issues and other symptoms with their patients, they just do it in a respectful manner.
I don’t think unsure is the right way to describe what so many of us think. I don’t claim to be any sort of medical expert. I do look at the numbers of people claiming to be trans now seem very high considering the conditions that make you trans are rare. I do think there are a great many young people now who don’t know what they are. Safeguards have to be in place for kids that are signing on to something that may be wrong for them. For all I know the medical community is doing a good job of this, but it’s reasonable to assume in some places they are not. Trans care is important. Can anyone tell me what safeguards are in place? It’s very possible I’m worried about something that is under the best control possible. I don’t care Target is removing clothes from their shelves over this. They are a private company and can do what they want. We don’t have to shop there either. I don’t shop there anyway but it shows how divided we are when the survival of a company depends on understanding the political leaning of most of your customers.
But when all is said by people like me who are not experts we need to trust the professionals who do. Any objector who who does not have proof that something is wrong should just shut up. On both sides.
So in the end I am not an unsure. I live in a rational world where I admit what I don’t know and support those who do. And the people who need trans care need to get it and we must do better protecting people from hate groups like republicans.
Absolutists from any side are always wrong.